Pope John Paul II’s press secretary, who said, See, if only the Pope were Italian, he woulda shot back! Never got a dinner!

Dean Martin’s pancreas, who overheard his liver singing I got a right to sing the blues. Never got a dinner!

Captain Hook’s mother, who said to Little Hook, For God sakes, don’t scratch it! Never got a dinner!

Aladdin, who said to his wife, I know it’s not a lamp, keep rubbing! Never got a dinner!

Venus de Milo’s mother, who once said to Venus, You never call me. Can’t you pick up a phone? Never got a dinner!

Alexander Graham Bell’s wife, who said to Alex on their wedding night, Your three minutes are up. Never got a dinner!

J. Paul Getty, who still hasn’t been buried – they keep finding oil! Never got a dinner!

Donald Trump’s mother, who said, Donnie! Stop playing Monopoly and get in that barber’s chair! Never got a dinner!

Eve said to the serpent, ‘You know I could go for a bit to eat, but I don’t know you from Adam.’

Julius Caesar’s wife, who said to Julius, We are not naming our son Sid! Never got a dinner!